Child psychology

Child psychology

The sports teacher is asking the boy if he would like to join the school sports. The boy curves his lips into an uncertain shy smile as he turns to his father who promptly obliges with a reply: “yes; certainly yes”. The teacher is now asking the boy direct- ly what sports he is fancying […]

  • Mohamed A. Khalfan
Child psychology
3.1 (62.5%) 8 vote[s]
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    The sports teacher is asking the boy if he would like to join the school sports. The boy curves his lips into an uncertain shy smile as he turns to his father who promptly obliges with a reply: "yes; certainly yes". The teacher is now asking the boy direct- ly what sports he is fancying and the boy again turns to his father with the repetition of that clumsy smile on his face. The father replies: "Cricket. Yes, he should like it". The teacher is asking the boy: "Which team"? And the father replies: "The Green". The teacher now turns to the father and inquires if cricket is the boy's own choice because it requires a good deal of learning and practicing and that meant also thinking………by him! As the couple were leaving the sports ground, the father wished there was someone to assure him that the teacher was not rude to him, and that someone could only be the boy who had heard the teacher's last remark in the conversation, but then he sighed - if only the boy was thinking the same thing! No, the boy was not because he was not let to do thinking. He was affectionately being protected from making wrong decisions by not letting him make any decisions. Teach the child the practice of thinking. Once the practice is mastered, he will then do more than thinking. He will learn and want to reflect and ponder "naturally" which is not always normal with all adults! No wonder, Islam wants the believers to exercise the independence of mind in order to cultivate conviction about Truth (Haq). The Qur'an compares those who do not think as worse than the vilest of animals. "Surely, the vilest of animals in Allah's sight, are the deaf, the dumb who do not think". (8:22). With the practice of thinking rooted, the mind will be prone to critical scrutiny: and independent judgment. Such mind will not easily be susceptible to the out- side or alien influence especially in the present age of electronic media which is employed to control the mind of the viewers and manipulate "public opinion" to suit the establishments with vested interests. With mind shielded, values remain intact and decisions pop up prompt and sound. In Two Hands. With the rein of mind tight in one's own two hands, the child when adult, will not waver or be fickle in making important decisions judiciously. He will not borrow for himself decisions from others who can never put themselves squarely in his place; will never take refuge in the false safety of a status quo and leave matters unresolved simply because to him, to take the initiative of making decision is to gamble. The passage of this life is punctuated with problems. When a problem is born approach it to dictate your terms before it grows big enough to approach you and dictate its terms while looking down on you with your back to the wall. But that calls for an immediate and bold decision-making capacity. Good many people lack it because they as children were not allowed to build it up. They were not taught to think. So engage the child in the exercise of decision-making on matters that concern him, though he should fully know that the final decision is the parents'. Would he prefer a school bus with a larger seating capacity or smaller and why? A lunch box to the school or money for purchase from the school canteen and why? Should he choose a desk right in front tomorrow when he. with other students, moves to a promoted class? Would he want his bed placed this way or that? These are only examples and there arise a number of occasions for such decision-making. Result Is Stupendous. The result is stupendous in terms of fast thinking and self-confidence. The parents will often find the child coming up with certain requests in which there are options and he had already considered all of them and preferred one with ready reasons, even if the reasons are weak or bad. This is true as the child grows up. A child so trained, when faced with a proposal from his teenage friends for a leisure programme out, which does not seem quite alright, will say: "No" on his own authority instead of the meek: "No, my parents will not approve of it". The exercise will naturally include the situations where the child will consider also the economic options with a view to saving money. This is because in the course of the engagement in the exercise of reasoning and decision-making the issue of money will be surfacing and he will have learnt in some degrees the discipline in money management. A child who has not been raised to think and therefore, to do reasoning invites emotions to help and fill the gap. As adult, he is likely to make worse decisions for himself more through emotions than reasoning. The road to hell in this life is paved with emotional decisions!

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    • Mohamed A. Khalfan
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